Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Our Washing Machine is a Dimensional Vortex

Everybody I know has one, too. You lose socks in there quite frequently and sometimes your favourite pair of panties (if you're not careful enough to put them in a lingerie bag, anyway). Typically, you don't get them back. When you do, they often show up stuffed inside a pair of jeans or a sweater that you haven't worn in months. The key to the whole mysterious procedure is that you never see that dimensional vortex in action.

Yesterday, I did.




A few months back, Wes started editing a manuscript for Pete's grandmother. Pete handed over the whole of her work, translated from Polish to English, on a little grey thumb drive. By the end of the night, Wes had forgotten putting that nondescript USB stick in his front pocket. By the end of the next day, I had washed that shirt and Wes, in a panic, told me that he had left Pete's grandmother's had work in its breast pocket.

When the drive didn't show up in the washing machine or the lint catcher of the dryer, we concluded that it must have fallen out somewhere else. We checked the laundry baskets, under the bed, in the bed, in our bags and even in the car. It didn't turn up at all. So we gave up.

Yesterday, I was doing laundry, when something magical happened.

Yes.

That's right.

The USB drive magically reappeared. I was shuffling some socks and a small collection of Wes' underwear from the washer to the dryer when I heard something fall with a clatter into the bottom of the washing drum. I cleared out the remaining few socks and there it lay.

Small.

Silver-grey.

Straight from the hidden dimension where it had been lingering for months.

Right before my very eyes. It still had its cap on and everything. The contact points are a bit rusted and we have no idea if it will actually read, still, but it came back and that's the important thing.

It's conceivable that the stick had been stuck between the drum and the outer mechanism, sure, but that's not nearly as fun.